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Claudia Imhoff

Welcome to my blog.

This is another means for me to communicate, educate and participate within the Business Intelligence industry. It is a perfect forum for airing opinions, thoughts, vendor and client updates, problems and questions. To maximize the blog's value, it must be a participative venue. This means I will look forward to hearing from you often, since your input is vital to the blog's success. All I ask is that you treat me, the blog, and everyone who uses it with respect.

So...check it out every week to see what is new and exciting in our ever changing BI world.

About the author >

A thought leader, visionary, and practitioner, Claudia Imhoff, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized expert on analytics, business intelligence, and the architectures to support these initiatives. Dr. Imhoff has co-authored five books on these subjects and writes articles (totaling more than 150) for technical and business magazines.

She is also the Founder of the Boulder BI Brain Trust, a consortium of independent analysts and consultants (www.BBBT.us). You can follow them on Twitter at #BBBT

Editor's Note:
More articles and resources are available in Claudia's BeyeNETWORK Expert Channel. Be sure to visit today!

 

Here it is -- the long awaited weird news stories for November (OK I do have too much time on my hands). And there are some doozies in here. I hope you enjoy them...

Have a good Thanksgiving Holiday! I will be back blogging the week of November 28th.

1. First up -- "IT Firm Bans Whinging" I believe the word "whinging" is a British one -- pronounced with a soft "G". According to my dictionary, it means to complain peevishly, annoyingly or continuously about something relatively unimportant. In a German company, whinging about the food in the cafeteria or the broken printer can get you fired... Apparently employees at Nutswerk LTD, in Leipzig have to agree to be in a good mood as part of their employment contract -- or stay home. According to a manager there, "We made the ban on moaning and grumpiness at work official after one female employee refused to subscribe to the company's philosophy of always smiling." Maybe they should just hire Barbie dolls -- they have the ever lasting smile painted on their faces...

2. Then there is the story about a Tarzan wannabe - A Romanian man ended up in the hospital after he tried to swing from tree to tree to escape his wife and go drinking. The man, age 66, had been locked in the bedroom by his wife when she got sick of his drinking with his buddies. He tried the vine swinging routine but slipped, falling 15 ft to the ground. He broke his arm, an ankle and a leg. Sing it with me now: I wanna D-I-V-O-R-C-E...

3. Pilfered Parrot Used to Pad Bra" Talk about animal cruelty. A woman was arrested for padding her bra with a stolen rare parrot. She hid the Greenwing parrot in her bra after taking it from her employer, a pet store, police said. When the woman tried to trade the bird for a vintage car, she told the car’s owner how she got the animal, according to the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Unfortunately for the "thief", the car’s owner is friends with the man who owns the $2,000 bird. Help me out here -- wouldn't you think the bird would have been kicking and screaming to get out...

4. And, sadly, one that is local to my part of the world "A big ‘but’ arises in toilet-seat story" A man who sued Home Depot last month claiming a prank left him glued to a toilet seat made a similar allegation about another restroom more than a year ago, an official told a newspaper. Bob Dougherty’s lawsuit alleges employees at the local Home Depot store ignored his pleas for help on the day before Halloween because they thought he was kidding.

But a former director of operations for the town of Nederland (just west of my home town), told the local newspaper that Dougherty told him in the summer of 2004 he was glued to a toilet seat in the town’s visitor center but pulled himself free. That's gotta hurt!

Dougherty’s lawsuit said officials at the store near my home called for an ambulance after he had been stuck for about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, which separated from his skin, leaving abrasions, according to the suit. I don't know about you but I can usually tell when I sit on something not quite right...

5. "Dog Shoots Hunter" - A 35-year old man was hunting quail in Bulgaria when his dog, who had retrieved a bird, refused to drop it. When the hunter tried to dislodge the dead bird from the pointer's mouth with the butt of his rifle, the dog jumped on him, jarring the trigger and filling the guy's chest with bird shot. Guess that will teach you to be nice to Fido...

6. Ever been caught by those speed cameras? Here's what not to do. A Swiss driver flew by a speed camera and was captured on film for his offense. He decided to take matters into his own hands and attacked the camera with an ax. Then he ran over it and finally threw it off a cliff. It would have worked too -- the camera was definitely destroyed -- but unfortunately, the driver was spotted by police as he threw the camera off the cliff. He was arrested and faces a hefty fine of $22,300! The speeding ticket was a lot cheaper...

7. And the last one for November and so timely with the upcoming release of the latest Harry Potter movie. Currency experts have determined the value of galleons in JK Rowling's books. In case you ever wondered, they figure that each gold galleon is worth about $8.60, which makes an education at Hogwart's rather pricey. Harry Nimbus 2000 would set you back about $2,580 and a magic wand about $60.20! And I am not making this up -- the currency experts claim, "Magic money is a very study currency that could assert itself on the international money market". Yeah -- I can't wait to get my paycheck in galleons.

Well, there you go -- this month's strange and wacko stories. Sometimes it is good to just be a normal, boring person... If you have any you would like to share, feel free to post them in the comments section. I can't wait to see what we get...

Yours in BI success,

Claudia


Posted November 17, 2005 11:25 AM
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